InMay 2023, I participated in a Vipassana retreat for the first time here in Latvia. It had altogether 20 meditation sessions, each 30 minutes. We practised both sitting and walking meditations. Before this retreat, I was not familiar with Buddhism practised in Thailand, so it was very beneficial for me to expand my mind. At the same time, it was one of the toughest retreats I have ever accomplished. Nowhere near that was a retreat just for well-being and relaxation — it was hard work! There were moments when I thought that I just want to quit and go home. And there are a couple of reasons for that!
Firstly, being tired can significantly impact the quality of meditation. Actually, one needs to have a strong body for meditation — that is what Buddha also taught when talking about the golden middle way. In his path, he realized that asceticism is not bringing the results that he wanted. When I went to retreat, I faced a very stressful week, so it was very tough to find the strength to focus and calm my mind — all I wanted was to sleep.
Secondly, our minds are working in such a way that we do not want to meditate. In fact, the mind is ready to do many other things, like generate creative ideas, just to avoid meditation. That is why people report visions during meditation sessions.
These are the most important takeaways that I have written down from the retreat. While we were not allowed to talk or read, and even write down ideas, I reflected a week after the experience.
- What is Vipassana — Vipassana is pondering how things are constantly changing and observing the ever-changing nature of the world. The teacher revealed that seeing things for how they are — temporary phenomena — can help us overcome many unpleasant situations.
- Walking meditation is practised by drawing attention to our feet. The variation of different meditative practices can help us achieve deeper states of consciousness.
- During meditation and especially in silent retreats, many emotions might come up, such as frustration, anger, apathy, etc. The teacher explained that intensive meditation might improve the quality of the meditation sessions afterwards.
- Interestingly, meditation can tune down both positive and negative emotions. However, there are practices to grow the positive emotions back.
- We experience lots of noise and stress in our daily lives, which significantly impacts us. Sometimes just turning off the phone and getting into the stillness can make wonders for our well-being.
While I was meditating at the retreat, I realized this strict routine was not for me. Actually, I understood that I prefer a lot of freedom in my spiritual practices. But after the retreat, I noticed that the calmness did not leave me, and I felt more balanced than before. It was definitely worth the effort!
The experience sparked more thoughts in me about religions and spiritual practices. I have realized that I want to remain independent, not trapped in any box and free to explore anything that catches my interest. I want to learn to connect with myself. Also, we can be spiritual even without religion — each one of us grows through the hardships of life with or without organized practices.
Also, this retreat inspired me to visit forest monasteries in Thailand to learn more about Vipassana and Theravada Buddhism, which is very different from the Mahayana tradition, which I am more familiar with.
I hope that my notes and insights from the retreat will inspire you to explore different spiritual practices as well and find what works for you the best!
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